Fixing my focus

I struggle with writer’s block pretty consistently. I drink coffee and stick earbuds blaring Derek Webb in my ear. I clean out my desk. I stare at the screen.

Nothing.

It’s a common affliction among writers and if you ask them, they’ll tell you to “just write.” Only what springs onto the page for me looks like this:

I’ve got nothing. I need to get out more and bump into some weird people so I can have good stories to tell. What makes a good story anyway?

I do tell stories. About politicians. And taxpayer money. That’s important. What am I making for dinner tonight?

Focus.

Maybe I need some caffeine. I love caffeine.

I love Dr Pepper.

I love lamp.

It’s undeniably clear. It’s so hard for me to focus,  and I realized I do it with my faith. When I feel disconnected from Christ, my first reaction is to fix myself. Only my tries are woefully useless and I just can’t focus.

This world is full of things to keep me from focusing on grace because this world says grace is boring compared to other things. This world says God’s will is impossible and doesn’t make sense.

It didn’t even make sense to the disciples. In Matthew chapter 16 when Jesus is predicting his death to his disciples, Peter pulls Jesus aside and tells him “Never. This shall never happen to you.”

Jesus responds: “Get behind me, Satan. You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

Because the things of men, the things that keep us from God, are stumbling blocks, and so maybe we should mirror Jesus’ words when we can’t focus:

“Get behind me, Satan, I have a job to do.”

“Get behind me, Satan, I have kids to teach.”

“Get behind me, Satan, I have people to love on.”

“Get behind me, Satan, I have a purpose.”

Because I don’t want to be so disillusioned that I miss that. I don’t want a clean desk or a good story to tell. I can’t fix my focus, so today, “get behind me, Satan, I have writing to do.”

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3 thoughts on “Fixing my focus

  1. karenspath says:

    What a great post to come from writer’s block. Thank you for the analogy!

  2. lolahbf says:

    I like lamp too. lol. And Grace is awesome! Where would we be without it?

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